


Choices

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Almost death, Angst, Gore, I don't like the gore warning because it makes it sound worse than it is, Incest, M/M, Major Character Injury, Vampire Turning, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23929915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: What would you choose, if you had to decide between life and death?
Relationships: Kim Junho/Kim Junsu (JYJ)





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

Junsu has a hard time remembering who he is. Junsu, yes, he’s Junsu, but who is Junsu? Flashes of a childhood flicker through his mind. An image. Someone who looks familiar.

Is that Junsu? No, that’s Junho. His brother.

Right, he had a brother. Had? Has? Has a brother. Right.

More teasing glimpses of a life Junsu only remembers like this. Growing up, going to school, leaving school.

Junsu moans. Out loud, in his head. Maybe both. An eye opens. He can’t open the other one. Has he before? Junsu can’t remember. It’s so dark, maybe his eye isn’t even open. A flash of light sparks his memory and it’s followed by a loud rumble of thunder.

Right. There was a storm. The lights had gone out. Were they still out? They must have been. It’s so dark. Junsu is sure he couldn’t see anything even if the lights were still on.

His chest suddenly raises with a deep breath of life and pain. He screams, or tries, but the sound comes out in gurgles. Something warm dribbles from his mouth, and he can feel more sticky wet on his stomach. He can’t feel anything on his legs, and maybe he doesn’t even have legs.

Somewhere, a voice is calling his name. Dim and panicked, and Junsu tries again to shout back and say he’s okay. He moves his arm and pain steals his vision. Maybe he’s not all right. A heavy pressure is on his arm and his legs, and the back of his head is throbbing.

Is that Junho’s voice? Junsu thinks it might be. Where is Junho? They were on the bed a little while ago. Well, Junsu knows that when Junho comes back, he will help him and tell him why he hurts so much. In the meantime, Junsu shuts his eyes, and decides to go back to sleep.

\---

“Junsu! Junsu! Junsu!”

Junho claws at the ground, trying to drag his body toward the stairs. He shouldn’t have left him, shouldn’t have gotten up.

“Junsu! Answer me!”

The house rattles in the wind again, and Junho wonders if the next burst of wind will take the rest of it. He has to get Junsu first. He tries calling again. Something collapses and the house shakes.

Junho is lucky. He was standing in the hall when the entire kitchen was twisted and torn away. He fell in the power of the wind and something hit his leg and snapped his shin. Pain laces up the wired nerves with every pull. Blood is pouring from his head and dripping into his eyes. But he has to get Junsu.

He’s almost at the bottom stair, and he can see in the flashes of lightning that they are blocked by what used to be the top of the house.

Junho whimpers and cries for Junsu again.

Amidst the loud bangs, the wind and his own cries, something soft thumps next to him. Junho screams when a dark form reaches down and touches him.

A scavenger. A feeder. A vampire.

“No, no, no, no, no, please, no.”

~ _Calm yourself, little one._ ~

Junho gasps, shivering from the cold voice in his head. “Please, please, don’t. Junsu. I have … Junsu.”

~ _Junsu?_ ~

“Upstairs. He is … was … oh god.” Junho covers his face in his hands.

The cloaked figure turns and leaves him crying on the stairs, and Junho can’t feel grateful, because without Junsu, his life is nothing.

\---

Changmin strides out of the house and down the concrete walkway. He stops after only a few paces and turns around. From the front, the house looks normal, swaying in the wind, but from the side and above, the destruction from the storm is glaringly evident. His senses picked up on only one person alive, but he’s been wrong before. Not often. But sometimes.

Contrary to what humans think, he’s not out hunting for food, but looking for survivors. His maker is a bit of a bleeding heart, and prefers that they feed from those that are willing to be food instead of those that are prey.

Instead of searching for life, Changmin searches for death. Blood. After a storm like this, it’s easy to find the metallic taste mixed with the ozone scent of lightning and rain. There is a lot of blood on the top floor.

Changmin walks along the side of the sagging house. His eyes scan the destruction and he maps out a path, following it with ease, climbing the splintered beams.

The scent of blood strengthens, and his nose wrinkles. It’s more than blood he can smell. Corpses are never fun to find. And they are useless to him. This one isn’t dead. Yet. But it’s close.

He drops down onto a sodden bed. Lightning flickers in the distance. The storm has passed the area. For now. What used to be a room is a mess of broken furniture, broken beams and insulation. There is a body on the floor, trapped under debris. Changmin inhales, and then tilts his head.

The body’s scent is the same as the one downstairs? How is that possible?

He scampers to it, trying to discern facial features that are too covered in blood. Both of his legs are shattered and pinned and his stomach is a mess of twisted intestines and debris.

Changmin jerks back when he hears and feels a weak heart beat. Too slow. The boy will not live.

He thinks of the young man downstairs, can hear him crying for his brother through the rain.

Well, he isn’t dead yet.

Changmin lifts the dresser from the boy’s legs and moves the beam piercing his side. Everything sloshes, and Changmin makes a face. Despite the disgustingness of it all, Changmin gently cradles the broken body in his arms and staggers through the mess that used to be the house. He goes the other way, walking over crumbling wood and drywall. He misses his step a few times, jostling the poor boy, but his heartbeat continues. Air hisses through his nose every now and then.

He carries him through the sudden heavy rain and lays him gently on the grass of the front yard. There isn’t much hope for the boy, but letting his brother say goodbye is the least he can do. He returns to the house, to the screaming boy still crying for his brother. He’s so weak from his own injuries and loss of blood and he barely fights when Changmin picks him up.

Changmin understands why they smell the same. Twins. Born at the same time, of the same mother and father. Their scents are different, but the difference is so small that Changmin isn’t surprised he didn’t pick up on it.

~ _I’m sorry,_ ~ Changmin whispers in his mind. ~ _I’m sorry, I cannot do more._ ~

The brother catches sight of his other half and screams, eyes wide.

Changmin’s attempts at calming him down are futile. He sets the brother down and the brother mutters the other’s name, wiping blood from his face, trying to cover the wounds with his hands.

“He’s alive, oh god, god, Junsu, please, please.”

~ _He cannot survive his wounds._ ~

The other screams him to hell and back.

Changmin smiles and says, ~ _If I could save him, I would. But he is almost dead._ ~

“No, no, no, please, no, do something, please.”

The only thing Changmin can do is turn him, before his heart stops, but he does not have a death wish. His maker will be upset upon being saddled with two younglings, and the human government will see that he is destroyed if they find out.

“Please, please, please, don’t die, Su-ah, please. Oh god, please, don’t let him die. Junsu! Junsu!”

Changmin remembers, so many years ago, when his beloved pet fish passed on. Centuries, maybe, who knew, but his emotions. His anger and fear and the tears. His poor nurse and his poor tutors. Changmin remembers wailing over its death.

Losing the other half of your soul has to hurt much worse.

Changmin sits next to the brothers and puts a hand on the crying ones shoulder. ~ _What is your name?_ ~

“J-Junho.”

~ _And your brother is Junsu?_ ~

“Yes.”

~ _You are twins?_ ~

Junho nods and looks up at him, eyes wide and full of tears.

~ _You are older,_ ~ Changmin notes, not needing the confirmation. ~ _Tell me, Junho. What is worse? Living alone or death?_ ~

Junho doesn’t answer with words, just cries and throws himself on Junsu’s body.

~ _You must choose. For him and for you._ ~

Junho turns his head. “Choose?”

Changmin reaches for him, and Junho flinches. He grips the chain of the cross necklace, careful not to let the amulet touch his skin. The chain is slick with blood and rain.

~ _You must choose,_ ~ Changmin repeats. ~ _He will not survive but you will. Death and be alone, or death and be together._ ~

Junho’s eyes widen.

~ _Think of what he wants. Think of what you want. It is your decision. It is your choice._ ~

Changmin waits.

\---

_Want. I want … what do I want? I want my brother to be alive. I want the storm to never have happened. I want to live and hear him laugh and—_

~ _You must think of the consequences,_ ~ that voice whispers. ~ _You must leave your family. You must stay with my kind._ ~

Junho shakes his head. He understands that.

Lightly, his fingers brush his brother’s cheek. His skin is more or less clean of blood because of the heavy rain, but it’s also gray, cold. Deathly.

Like their visitor’s skin.

“Both of us. Can you … t-turn us both?”

~ _I can do whatever you choose._ ~

Junho grips the crucifix around his neck. Damned to walk the Earth for eternity. Damned to the gates of hell if they are destroyed. Damned. Damned. Damned.

But together.

And for how long?

If one of them is destroyed, then it will be the same as it is now. This pain and suffering.

Junho wonders if his brother is suffering. It’s hard to think through the pain in his broken leg.

The crucifix digs into his palm, and he lowers his head.

Junsu is going to hate him. But at least he will be alive to hate him.

“Please,” he whispers. “Do it. Save him.”

~ _Some will not consider this saving him._ ~

Junho nods. “I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”

The vampire tilts his head in thought. He sits cross-legged next to Junsu’s still body. ~ _Selfishness is a word deemed by others to categorize someone’s actions. It is only something that others may think. What do you think? What does he think?_ ~

“Can you invade his mind, like you are invading mine?”

He smiles, showing fangs, and shakes his head. ~ _He is too far from life and too near death to communicate with._ ~

“But he’s not dead, right? He’s not … not in heaven?”

~ _No, do not worry about yanking him back from such a place. Your brother is in no pain, only clinging to life._ ~ The vampire pauses and then smiles softly. ~ _No, that isn’t true. He’s waiting._ ~

“Waiting? For what?”

~ _For you. For you to come back._ ~

Junho’s eyes widen again in shock.

~ _It is all I can sense._ ~

“Do it. Please.”

The vampire nods. He hooks his hands under Junsu’s arms and shifts him up. The giant wound in his stomach gapes wider, and Junho almost throws up at the sight.

~ _It will heal in the process. Do not worry, youngling._ ~

Junho swallows, but doesn’t look back at Junsu’s stomach or the mess.

The vampire’s fangs sink into Junsu’s neck. His body convulses, air leaving his lungs in a loud scream.

Junho looks around him in panic, but with the storm still threatening and the heavy drops of rain, they are alone. The house next to theirs is completely gone as are a few others down the block.

~ _He has so little blood. He will need to feed from you before I can turn you._ ~

Junho nods. Fear tears at his heart.

Junsu’s body jerks again, and then again. So many times, and Junho watches, forgets about time and watches. Junsu’s skin goes from ashen to white. His eyelids snap open and his eyes are no longer brown and full of laughter, but dark and hungry.

Fear tears at his heart. He’s turned his brother into a monster.

Cold fingers grip his upper arm and yank him forward. Junho screams in pain from his leg and then whimpers at a lesser pain slicing across his neck. Cold lips close around the new wound and suck, harder and harder. Strong arms grip his shoulders, bruising, holding him down.

Something sparks in his mind, and then twists along his veins and into his heart. His eyes roll back and everything goes black.

\---

Junsu wakes up. Everything is lighter than the last time he woke up, but it’s still dark. And it’s wet. Very wet.

Why is he on the front lawn? Where is Junho?

He turns his head. The rest of his body hurts, but not as much as it hurt before.

Junho is lying next to him, eyes shut, deathly pale.

For a moment Junsu thinks that his brother is dead, but he isn’t. He can sense it. Sense his presence and smell his blood.

Something moves by his feet, and he looks to see a pale man sitting cross-legged on the grass, uncaring of the rain and the wet. His arms are crossed.

~ _Good evening, youngling,_ ~ a cold voice says in his head.

Junsu says hi. Or he thinks he says hi. His mouth doesn’t open.

~ _We are waiting just a few minutes for your brother to wake up.~_

_-He is not dead, right?-_

_~No, youngling. Just recovering.~_

_-From what?-_

_~You are a voracious eater, youngling._ ~

Junsu isn’t sure how that has anything to do with this, but he says nothing. Junho has made fun of him a lot for how fast and how much he eats.

~ _Can you sit up?_ ~

Junsu shifts his shoulders and puts his hands down and sits up. His head goes light, and he starts to fall before the man catches him. Man. Not a man. What is he?

~ _I’m a vampire._ ~

Junsu stares, processing that information. The fear he is expecting does not come.

~ _Shut your eyes._ ~

Junsu obeys without questioning, and the first image to assault him is his dead, mangled body. He gasps, vision whisking through him, voices and thoughts, and his brother’s fear and worry. His brother is weak because of Junsu. Because Junsu ate him.

~ _He is alive,_ ~ the same voice says. ~ _Or dead, depending on your point of view._ ~

Junsu swallows and looks at his brother’s sleeping face, and then down his neck. There isn’t a single sign of Junsu tearing his throat open. On his chest is a brighter scar in the shape of a cross.

~ _He was half turned before I remembered about his necklace and took it off._ ~

Junsu finds the necklace in the grass. It has always hung around his brother’s neck, since they were eleven, and Junsu had given it to him on their birthday. Junsu, careful not to touch the cross, picks up the chain, so at least part of it can still hang on his brother’s neck.

That feeling inside him sparks to life. Cold fingers run up his arm. Junsu turns his head and meets his brother’s black eyes. The color is mirrored in his own. He knows this. Junsu takes his wrist and grasps their hands together. Junho pulls him and Junsu falls against him, limbs entwining, full of life and strength that had been sucked from them.

/ _Please don’t be angry at me,_ / Junho whispers, fingers caressing his brother’s face. His voice feels different in Junsu’s head, different from the vampire’s voice. / _You were dead, and I couldn’t bear to live without you./_

 _-I’m not angry,_ \- Junsu replies with a smile. - _I would have done the same thing.-_

 _/It was selfish of me to damn you, to damn us, to this life._ /

Junsu moves wet hair off his brother’s forehead and smiles. The connection between them spins and joins and they both moan, they both lean towards the other and their lips meet in a sinful kiss. Junsu can’t pull away and knows if he tries to, that his brother will only pull him back. Junsu doesn’t mind. He lays his body on top of his brother’s and does his best to show him his thanks.

\--

Changmin watches the two brothers lose sense of everything around them. With a sigh, he takes out his phone and dials the number of his maker.

“Minnie-darling, hello,” Jaejoong croons.

Changmin smiles and says, “Hello, my maker.”

“So serious? Why? Oh god, what did you do this time?”

Changmin winces. “Nothing as serious as the last time, but you’re going to hate me, because I’m going to make you come out in the rain and help me.”

“How many?”

“Just two.”

“Two?”

“They are brothers. Twins. And they were already connected.”

“Interesting. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Changmin glances at the naked bodies of the brothers. “Take your time. They’re … occupied.”

Jaejoong chuckles. “Then I will hurry. I don’t want to miss the show.”

\---


End file.
